Posted: 6:43 PM - May 09, 2011
GBOwner
Mr R Martland won the last session. Please start with a scenario.

Thanks,
GBOwner

Posted: 8:31 AM - May 12, 2011
GBOwner
Looks like Mr. Grace is on an unannounced vacation. Since 1/2 the week is already over please start May 14-15.

Thanks!
GBOwner

Posted: 1:28 PM - May 12, 2011
Mr R Martland
(Very sorry! I shall start it now, just give me a few minutes to think something up.)

Posted: 1:38 PM - May 12, 2011
Mr R Martland
Mr Grace enters the floor
Good morning everybody. I expect you are glad to now be back to your own departments.
Mr Grace takes a chair and sits
I think it's about time we had a new commercial out. So, I think, you as my favourite department should star in it and write it.
Mr Grace mutters something about outrageous prices for professional actors
Good luck everybody, stay behind tonight for a few minutes and discuss it.

Posted: 2:36 PM - May 12, 2011
Charlie
Oh god not another commercial tryout!

Mr. Humphries, Mr. Humphries are you free? We may need the services of your director friend again.

Mr. Lucas, Mr. Grainger are you free?

Mrs. Slocumbe, Miss Brahams are you free?

If you're all free lets meet at the center of the floor.

A chorus of I'm Free's has followed Captain Peacock's summons and they all gather in the center.

As you might have heard, Young Mr. Grace wishes to do a new commercial to boost sales in the store. Now we all know what a right cock up the last few times we have tried to air a presentable commercial in various mediums. The nightclub scene was a disgrace what with the microphone dropping down Mrs. Slocumbe's clevage and Miss Belfridge becoming tipsy off the champagne. The closed circuit television advertising bargins created the wrong sort of stir and, the CB radio programme wasn't a great success either. We're to meet after the store closes to try to come up with another, and I do hope sensible, idea for a commercial although I doubt it with this bunch. Please make any domestic arrangements you have to make. I don't know how long this will take.

Posted: 4:25 PM - May 12, 2011
Libby_W
Ah yes, and remember when we did the ol' switch-a-roo with Mr. Graces' sexy nurse and Ms. Brahms? That turned some knickers into a twitch...didn't Ms. Brahms? <looking over at Ms. Brahms with arms crossed and cocky grin>

What, praytell can we come up with...this time 'round?

Posted: 8:44 PM - May 12, 2011
sueschmitt
Well I had better phone Mrs. Axleby and let her know I'll be home late. She'll make sure Tiddles is a good girl in the garden and give her her nightly dinner and a tummy rub. I have to admit it is much nicer having Mrs. Axleby rooming with me rather than having to call on Mr. Akbar. That man gets way to familiar.

Posted: 8:47 PM - May 12, 2011
Jim
I'm glad I caught you all together. Young Mr. Grace wants us to come up with some ideas for another commercial he wants to do. Naturally he wants to do it as cheaply as possible so we all know that is going to cause some difficulties.

Posted: 9:01 PM - May 12, 2011
Charlie
Captain Peacock has a very frustrated look on his face as he replies: Mr. Rumbold, I have just made that announcement to the staff. We were in the process of making our domestic arrangements so we can stay behind after the store closes to come up with ideas for the new commercial.

Posted: 9:12 PM - May 12, 2011
Jim
Oh very well Captain Peacock please carry on as he toddles away to his office.

Captain Peacock roles his eyes and the rest of the staff smirk.

Posted: 9:18 PM - May 12, 2011
Tom
Mr. Harmon comes on the floor with delivery of stock for both departments and Captain Peacock spies him. Mr. Harmon how many times do I have to remind you that you are not to be on the floor after the opening bell!!!

I'm sorry Captain Peacock, but seeings as how Grace Brothers isn't advanced enough to have a transporter pad in the packing department and one in this department to beam me over the floor in a shower of lights across the floor I must go!

Besides, I thought we was workin together to get you undemoted?

Posted: 11:03 PM - May 12, 2011
Libby_W
<standing at our counter, marking prices on the items being shown on the next sales, continueing the chat from earlier before Peacock announced the stay over>

So, as I was saying about this bird, see...<stating as I held me hands out to display her bosoms> she was enormous, I tell ya. And when I told her about me position as floorwalker, she was all over me like flies on honey.<snickers>

I know it was only for a few hours, but SHE didn't know that...<onerey snicker>

Mind you, it didn't matter...< placing last marked item in the right area> I never made it home last night, <elbowing Mr. Humphries> and it bloody well doesn't look like I'll make it home tonight, thanks to this cockamanny meeting we have to attend later on.

Posted: 11:06 PM - May 12, 2011
Madman42q
Miss Brahms rolls her eyes and sighs heavily, then whispers to Mrs Slocombe

Cor, they have no respect for our personal lives, do they? I can't stay very long, I have a date with my Greek boyfriend. He's coming over so I can make him a local dish.

Posted: 2:35 AM - May 13, 2011
RideUpWithWear
That sounds impressive Miss Brahms, I wish that I could cook Greek food but my wife throws me out of the kitchen when I come home.

(Turns to the whole departmental staff and Harmon)

I do hope that our new commercial is given a better script. I thought that the director, Mr. Humphries' friend, was spectacular.

However, no one asked me to do anything in the commerical. I just stood there for five minutes staring at Captain Peacock shouting into Mrs. Slocombe's lady parts - it was vulgar yet necessary.

(He blushes as he says 'lady parts' instead of breasts.)

I demand a speaking role in this production, and I think that I should maybe be a customer this time around.

I suppose we do need a bartender ... but I think that the role should be filled with someone who has more seniority. Come to think of it, Rumbold would be a better fit.

During the last commercial, Rumbold just played the piano in the background. However, his musical ability was extremely lacking. If we had someone more sophisticated like Captain Peacock at the pianoforte, then perhaps the commercial would seem more appropriate.

After all, I remember Captain Peacock winning the Grace Brothers' Founders Talent Appreciation Competition in 1971 by performing "Night and Day" on the piano. I did so well that he was asked to do THREE encores.

Of course, however, the direction may be done by the professional friend of Mr. Humphries ...

But I think that all of us should be given the option to create our own script by adding our own personalities into the mix.

Posted: 1:11 PM - May 13, 2011
Charlie
Mr. Harmon, it pains me to say this but I do want to thank you for your willingness to get me undemoted as you so aptly put it however, the matter has been resolved. The little girls mother, after her misconception of the events that transpired was cleared up, went straight to Mr. Grace and told him that I wasn't rude. I don't really need your services as shop steward any longer.

Would you be good enough to ensure that there are tables, chairs and a spot of tea made ready for us after the closing bell? As you heard, we have to discuss ideas for a new commercial. Again, as it pains me to say, your input might be valuable and I'll alert Mr. Rumbold that you will be attending as well.

Mr. Humphries would you be kind enough to dial Mrs. Peacock for me? I need to inform her of my late arrival. She worries if I don't get home by the stroke of 6.

Mr. Humphries dials the number and hands the phone to Captain Peacock who immediately wipes both ends of the phone off with his hankerchief which he then properly flutes and puts back in his left hand pocket.

Hello my dear. No nothing is the matter. I needed to let you know that I will be late returning home from work tonight. We have to stay behind to come up with ideas for the new commercial that Young Mr. Grace wants to do. Humm yes, I will keep your suggestion in mind to not use the nasty looking girl (meaning Miss Belfridge) that passed out over the champagne bottle. No dear I will not use my blow tickler! I only use the blow tickler at Christmas Party. I don't know when all this will conclude so don't wait up dinner for me. See you later.

Thank you Mr. Humphries!

Posted: 1:19 PM - May 13, 2011
Tom
Mr. Harmon, looking rather disgruntled at being informed that his services are no longer required as shop steward.

I had a great plan worked out to protest for you but seeings as how you are actually going to include me in this conflab I will not lodge a protest against you for stopping the protest. I'll get Warrick and Seymour to put out the tables and I'll inform the canteen manageress that we need a pot of tea.

Mr. Harmon bustles off.

Posted: 1:21 PM - May 13, 2011
sueschmitt
I say Miss Brahams you didn't tell me you were dating this greek fella. You must be careful with them greeks. Remember what happened with me and Mr. Mataksis! Captain Peacock's behavior since he has been reinstated as floorwalker has been a bit odd. He's not quite as stuffy as he was and he's even being nicer to Mr. Harmon. Maybe that was a good thing for him to be a junior back in Toys.

Posted: 10:20 PM - May 14, 2011
Madman42q
Well, so far Nick's been very sweet to me. *giggles* Last week he gave me a big box of baklava what he made himself. And then he made souvlaki with tza...taz...kinky? With some sort of cucumber and yoghurt sauce.

Oh, I agree. It's a bit eerie, him being nice to Harmon. Sort of like he's an evil twin or something like you see in that Twilight Zone show.

Oi, where is Mr Humphries? I hope it's not the same friend of his what said I was so bleedin' common!

Posted: 9:10 PM - May 15, 2011
sueschmitt
Me either Miss Brahams. He said I was too old! Mind you what he said about old Jugears was true though (they both giggle). Have you come up with any ideas for this bleedin thing? I certainly don't want to be stuck here all night. I've been spending far too much time in the store lately. Me and Mrs. Axleby have tickets to go to the roller disco tonight but thats not till later.

Posted: 11:29 PM - May 15, 2011
Jim
Mr. Rumbold asks his secretary to get Captain Peacock on the phone.

She dials the mens department but the call becomes very confusing as neither Mr. Humphries or Mr. Grainger realizes that the call is for Captain Peacock to come to his office. Neither one stay on the phone long enough to find that out!

Mr. Rumbold decides that he'll come back on the floor.

Captain Peacock a word please!

Have you all got your domestic arrangements taken care of for the conference tonight?

Posted: 11:38 PM - May 15, 2011
Charlie
Yes we have Mr. Rumbold. I have asked Mr. Harmon to arrange for a bit of light refreshments for the conference and he will arrange to have the tables and chairs ready for us. I thought it better that he arranged for that rather than Miss Belfridge. Remember last time when you sent her out for them she went over to the Savoy and got that delicious plate of salmon sandwiches and gourmet coffees but, at a great expense. I have also asked Mr. Harmon to attend the conference this time. I believe his input might be valuable. We seem to save ourselves alot of aggro if we just include him in the decision processes especially since we wind up having to come to him for one thing or another. Makes more sense just to have him sit in on it.

Posted: 11:40 PM - May 15, 2011
Jim
Captan Peacock wasn't that a bit above your authority to request Mr. Harmon's presence at the conference? However, I am prepared to overlook that this time seeing as how you might just have hit on something to improve inter-departmental relations. I'm glad I thought of that. Carry on everybody!

Posted: 11:47 PM - May 15, 2011
Charlie
Forgive me sir the joy at being back in my former position as floorwalker went to my head (as Captain Peacock gives a little bow).

Posted: 11:49 PM - May 15, 2011
Jim
Quite understandable I'll overlook that this time just don't let it happen again.

Mr. Rumbold removes himself to his office.

Captain Peacock is highly frustrated as he returns to his spot. What a stupid man he mutters.

Posted: 1:46 PM - May 16, 2011
sueschmitt
A customer has approached the ladies counter.

I'm looking for a suit that I can wear for both day and night in a color that will compliment my complexion.

Certainly madam Mrs. Slocumbe replies. Miss Brahams please get the rail of suits for madam.

Miss Brahams brings the rail over. Now if madam would like to take a look thru these suits, we should have something here that will please madam.

The customer looks thru the suits and chooses three to try on and proceeds to the fitting room.

Miss Brahams, get out the boxes of accessories to go with the suits that she's picked out. Since you've been so helpful lately, I'll let you have the commission on any accessories that she selects. Miss Brahams gets the boxes of hats, gloves and purses.

The customer has decided on a navy blue suit and deep red.

Perhaps madam would like to look at some accessories to go with the suits? We have hats, gloves and purses that would look marvelous with madams selections.

The customer begins to look thru the collection Miss Brahams has assembled. Oh yes, I think I'll take these two hats, a pair of white gloves (they'll go with anything) and the blue and red purses.

Will that be cash or on account? On account please.

Mrs. Slocumbe makes out the bill. That will be 157 pounds. Thank you for shopping at Grace Brothers!

Ooo Miss Brahams, thats 3 pounds commission for me and 1 pound 71 p for you!

Posted: 5:17 PM - May 16, 2011
Libby_W
<heaves a heavy sigh> Boy, Ms. Brahms sure is glowing today, is she not Mr. Humphries? <glancing over from time to time>
Oh Well...<shaking head and unfold arms> have you thought of any ideas for this bloody commerical?

Posted: 2:33 AM - May 17, 2011
RideUpWithWear
Zzzz ...

Grainger was sleeping and Humphries was busy trying to wake Grainger.

Humphries: Are you free Mr. Grainger?


Grainger: Yes, I'm free (wakes up). Did I miss anything? Oh, we are getting customers. Never mind.

Posted: 1:19 PM - May 17, 2011
Charlie
The closing bell rings.

Captain Peacock: Mr. Humphries would you please call Mr. Harmon and let him know that they can set up the tables and chairs for the conference. The sooner we get this conference over with the sooner we can go home. I for one think it will be a gigantic waste of time. These commercials always turn out horrible and we waste alot of time doing them. I don't understand why Young Mr. Grace won't just hire professionals to do these things.

Posted: 1:53 PM - May 17, 2011
Libby_W
I agree with ya there, Captain Peacock. <stating as he covers the counters> I always have a terrible creak in me back afterwards holding the bloody mike in the air!

Posted: 3:45 PM - May 17, 2011
Tom
Mr. Harmon, Warrick and Seymour are bringing in the tables and chairs. They get them arranged and Mr. Harmon bustles off to the canteen for the tea.

Posted: 8:11 PM - May 17, 2011
Jim
Mr. Rumbold comes on the floor. Come on everybody gather round. Mr. Harmon is going to the canteen for refreshments. Lets get this conference started. Miss Belfridge take notes.

Young Mr. Grace wants us to come up with another commercial to boost sales. We're doing well in some departments and bad in others. DIY, toys, bathroom fittings and the grocery department are all up however, ladies/mens shoes, ladies/gents departments and haberdashery are down a little bit. The other departments are holding fairly steadily. That should give us enough information as to what the focus of the commercial needs to be.

Posted: 8:21 PM - May 17, 2011
sueschmitt
Mrs. Slocumbe flounces over to the table. Well we've already done a fashion show (Mrs. Slocumbe rolls her eyes up at that), a CB radio programme, closed circuit telly and the nightclub commercial. What more does he expect out of us Mr. Rumbold?

What ever happened with my idea of having an announcer periodically coming over the loud speaker announcing the various items on sale? We all auditioned for the announcer and Young Mr. Grace decided that his was the only proper voice to do that (she sneers). Nothing else ever came out of that.

How about this why don't each of the departments do a brief commercial advertising their wares? This way no department can complain of not enough exposure. Their bits shouldn't be more than 2 minutes long. We could put the best bits together for a commercial.

Posted: 10:14 PM - May 17, 2011
Libby_W
How about this, Mr. Rumbold. < suggesting as he takes his seat at the end of the tables>
Whenever I take me date to the movies, and we're torn over which flick to see, not that it matters since we're in the very back getting busy, huh Mr, Humphries...< elbowing and naughty giggles..heh heh heh>, but what helps us to decide is the poster adverstments.
Perhaps we should do posters or billboards.
That way, no voices needed done, no movements. Just a simple pose of our items with a simple model.

Posted: 10:45 AM - May 18, 2011
Charlie
The problem I see with the whole commercial idea to begin with is the fact that the sale items change from whatever it is the store is trying to push. I cannot see Young Mr. Grace wanting to make a commercial or put up posters each time we have a special items sale.

In keeping with Mr. Lucas and Mrs. Slocumbe's worthy ideas, how about if we kind of combine them? We could set up a display area in each department with the sale items with their price shown. Mr. Humphries' director friend could film them. This way what he takes pictures of could either be used as a commercial or as posters.

Or, how about this. Why not make up a weekly sale paper like Sainsburys does? We can have Mr. Humphries' director friend snap pictures of all the items on sale and perhaps offer a few special coupons that the customers can bring into the store with them to redeem. I'm sure the newspapers have special rates to have that done and it can't be as expensive as doing another disastrous commercial. If Young Mr. Grace doesn't want to go that far, he could just get the sale papers printed up and be made available for the customers as they come thru the front doors.

Posted: 11:29 AM - May 18, 2011
Tom
Mr. Harmon returns with a tray of tea and biscuits for everybody.

Hea you go all. That will be 10p each.

The staff grumbles at this charge and refuse to pay it.

Well if you don't want to pay for the grub, remember I have the master key to release you from the premises and it will cost you 10p each.

Mr. Rumbold informs him that the "refreshments" will be paid by the firm.

Have I missed much while I was getting the refreshments for ya?

Posted: 11:30 AM - May 18, 2011
Jim
I like what I'm hearing. Your idea of the sales paper Captain Peacock has great merit. I believe we can get them printed up in the store.

Posted: 12:47 PM - May 18, 2011
sueschmitt
Don't forget to mention to Mr. Grace about my announcement idea. That would work well with the sales paper. He could direct the customers to check on whatever page the sale item he's pushing is on.

Posted: 12:48 PM - May 18, 2011
Tom
Copying and printing is part of maintenance and I can check with their head to see what it would take to print up the sales paper if Young Mr. Grace likes this idea.

Posted: 3:36 PM - May 18, 2011
RideUpWithWear
Here, here! Those ideas sound wonderful. Hopefully, Mr. Grace will see reason and decide that we are better off without televised commercials.

I am not sure if Young Mr. Grace will consent to dropping flyers through the mail/newspapers. I think that the sales paper delivery as customers enter Grace Brothers is a fantastic idea. I also believe that announcing each departments' specials is good.

However, I think that customers would respond better if perhaps we could have a more charismatic announcer ...

I think that a person with more sex appeal such as the Nurse would be more popular ... or perhaps a more refined voice as Captain Peacock's.

Yet, if you do mention Mrs. Slocombe's suggestion, please do not mention that I suggested that we should change the announcer. Young Mr. Grace may veto the idea altogether - and may favour an idea that may result in less sales overall.

Posted: 3:47 PM - May 18, 2011
Tom
I really hate having to be in charge of special effects. Beings that Young Mr. Grace never wants to cough up enough money to have proper sound effects, I'm forced to dream up different ways to get the sounds that we need. I vote for no commercial as such and stick with the sales paper and announcing!

Posted: 3:51 PM - May 18, 2011
Charlie
Mr. Humphries do you know someone that is good with photography? I mean we could try to take them ourselves with equipment from our photography section of the electronics department but whenever we try to do things like that, we always seem to make a shambles of it. I for one do not know the first thing about proper photography. Even when I try to use my Polaroid Instamatic my pictures always seem to come out blurry or something. Is any one else on the staff able to take decent pictures? What about these new digital cameras?

Miss Brahams do you have an constructive ideas to add to those we've already discussed?

Posted: 5:30 PM - May 18, 2011
Libby_W
Are we gonna make a book of sales like in that old movie ~Miracle on 24th Street~?
You know...<getting up and dashing to the foot of the stairs>have a stand here,<motioning with his hands> holding the big book of sales, for the customers to leaf through. Everyone always stops to look through books!
I believe Ms. Brahms once said that she was into photographing at one point, were you not Ms. Brahms?

Posted: 7:39 PM - May 18, 2011
RideUpWithWear
Well, my wife used to be in a photography club ... but that was at least eight or ten years ago. She might also require a second person to assist her in developing the pictures. Should I ask her if she could arrange a photo shoot?

If I recall, they published a couple local magazines ... I could perhaps bring a copy of the latest one to the store tomorrow.

My wife prefers black and white still photography, but I suppose she could make a compromise if I were to make a personal request ...

Although she may have important restrictions:
No secretaries (especially ones like Belfridge)
No more than four people at a time per picture
The store pays for refreshments
The photographing takes place while the store is closed (either before or after work)

Posted: 11:32 AM - May 19, 2011
Jim
That's a great idea Mr. Lucas using the sale books. It probably wouldn't cost as much to make up a book for each department to display of the sales goods. The idea of the sales paper to be made available when the customers come into the store is a good one as well along with the announcing of special sale items.

Mr. Grainger would you ask your wife if she would consent to possibly being the photographer providing that Young Mr. Grace approves of the idea?

Posted: 8:53 PM - May 19, 2011
Madman42q
I was, Mr Lucas. Unfortunately someone stole my camera while we was on holiday at the Costa Plonka. I think it was that Conchita girl. She was mad because Mr Humphries wouldn't take her back to England with him.
'Ere, who's gonna do the announcing bit? Last time when Mr Grace did the announcing several people complained they couldn't unnerstand a word he was sayin'.

Posted: 10:50 PM - May 19, 2011
Libby_W
I think whatever department has the sale, those staff members should make the recordings for that day. Everyone should have a chance.
Even ol' Peacock should have a recording for perhaps the center display items.
And jugears could announce those "extra" bonus special<doing those quote movements with his fingers>

Posted: 11:13 PM - May 19, 2011
Charlie
Why thank you Mr. Lucas! I think that is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. You must be as pleased about being the junior on the mens counter as I am being back on the floor!

I'm prepared to do the announcing providing we can get Young Mr. Grace's approval.

Mr. Rumbold do you think these ideas will be good to present to Mr. Grace?

Posted: 11:18 PM - May 19, 2011
Tom
I could get with Warrick and Seymour and see what we can knock up for displays to show the goods.

How many displays do you think we might need Mr. Rumbold?
Posted: 11:26 PM - May 19, 2011
Jim
Let me see if I have all the ideas down

1. Mrs. Slocumbe suggests doing the announcing of special items using the store's loud speaker system. Mrs. Slocumbe also suggests that each department do their own brief commercial or announcement of their special sales.

2. Captain Peacock suggested that we come up with a sale paper like they do at Sainsburys either to include in the neighborhood papers or to be made available to the customers as they enter the store. Possibly including a few coupons for special items. Mr. Grainger suggested that his wife might be willing to take the photos for the paper. Mr. Humphries is to ask his director friend if he takes photos or can recommend someone. Naturally it would have to be someone that would consider doing the job for very little money. We all know how much Young Mr. Grace dislikes spending money on advertising.

3. Mr. Lucas suggests that we make up books like they did in the movie Miracle on 34th Street to show what is on sale in each department and place a book in each department.

4. Mr. Harmon will work with Warrick and Seymour to make displays up for each department.

5. Mr. Lucas suggested that each department select a member to do their own announcing of special items for sale.

I hope I've got all that right this time. I think I have enough to present to Young Mr. Grace. I'm glad we had this meeting this evening it was very profitable. I'll make sure to present "my" ideas to Young Mr. Grace tomorrow.

Well done everyone! I think we can all go home now!

Posted: 10:27 AM - May 20, 2011
Charlie
As Mr. Rumbold bustles off.....

Thank god that is over with! We actually seem to have come up with some viable ideas this time. Lets hope Young Mr. Grace will accept them and have them carried out. Lets all go home and get a good nights sleep.

Posted: 5:48 PM - May 20, 2011
Libby_W
Well, Shirley. Since it's so late, would you like to take in a movie? I hear that Bambi is showing at the flicker shop a few blocks down.

Posted: 2:13 PM - May 21, 2011
sueschmitt
Mrs. Slocumbe puts on her coat. Mrs. Axelby and I have tickets for the roller disco tonight. We were getting rather tired of going to the pub all the time. You know I really have to begin spending some time at home or my pussy and bird will think that I have totally forgotten about them.

Posted: 3:26 PM - May 21, 2011
Libby_W
<snickers while putting coat on> Ah yes, Mrs. Slocumbe, mus'nt let that pussy of yours be left alone for too long.

Posted: 10:15 PM - May 21, 2011
Madman42q
I don't think so, Mr Lucas. I've got the house to meself tonight, so Nick's coming over. He's promised to make moussaka and kataifi.

Posted: 10:11 AM - May 22, 2011
Libby_W
well, ok then goodnite all

Posted: 9:41 PM - May 22, 2011
RideUpWithWear
Good night everyone! I telephoned my wife, but she said that she would like to have a discussion at home first about it first.

Posted: 11:51 PM - May 22, 2011
sueschmitt
You know you're right Mr. Lucas. I do need to spend more time with my pussy and bird. The way things have been going at Grace Brothers lately hasn't given me much time at ome.

Posted: 2:59 PM - May 23, 2011
Libby_W
<ding of the lift as the doors open and another day starts at Grace Brothers Mens and Ladies Dept.>

Gah, Blimey! < sighing as he leaves the lifts and slowly slomps down the stairs to the sign in counter> Another ~GLORIOUS~ day here at Grace Brothers! <stating sarcastically>

Feels like we just left! <tossing down the pen as he finishes signing his name> Where's ol' Peacock at? It's not like him not to be at his spot, hovering over stating what time it is as you sign in...

<standing in position, mocking Peacock> 8:47 and 39 seconds <pause> Mr. Lucas....<giggles>

Posted: 8:06 PM - May 23, 2011
RideUpWithWear
<the lift doors chime and they open up to reveal the ladies and gents department.>

Grainger runs down the stairs and sprints to the gentleman's counter. He puts away his hat, coat, and briefcase. He goes to sign the book ...

"Hello, Mr. Lucas," he says as he signs the book.

"It is 8:49 a.m. but Captain Peacock is not here? That is very odd."

Posted: 8:14 PM - May 23, 2011
Madman42q
*another chime and Miss Brahms darts down the stairs, coat and bag over her arm*

Cor blimey! I thought I was gonna be late. *looks around* Where's ol' Peacock? It's not like him not to be struttin' about, making nasty comments.

Posted: 11:16 AM - May 24, 2011
sueschmitt
Mrs. Slocumbe enters. Oh he got here early. He's with Mr. Rumbold telling Young Mr. Grace about our ideas last night. She signs the book and bustles over to her counter.

Posted: 11:18 AM - May 24, 2011
Charlie
The lift doors chime again and out steps Captain Peacock and Mr. Rumbold. Both looking disgruntled.

Captain Peacock goes over to the book to sign in. Some days there is just no reasoning with that man!

Posted: 11:21 AM - May 24, 2011
Jim
While we're all here, I'll just have a word with the staff on our meeting with Young Mr. Grace this morning.

Young Mr. Grace liked your ideas about the pictures and making a sales paper and the books however, rather than having a member of department posing with the sale items he wants bathing beauties to pose with them! I hope I can put him right at the coffee break. We don't want to give the wrong impression by using that idea.

Carry on everybody! Mr. Rumbold totters off to his office muttering as he goes.

Posted: 3:18 PM - May 24, 2011
Libby_W
Morning Mr. Grainger.

Bathing Beauties?!? <cocky grin emerges> I could work with that.

Here...just have Ms. Brahms shorten that skirt of 'ers, and remove those sleeves...and we've got the beauty right there.

Hey, Mrs. Slocumbe. will you be trying out for the bathing beauty bit too? <arms crossed, trying not to snicker>

Posted: 4:01 PM - May 24, 2011
sueschmitt
Mr. Lucas don't be cheeky! I'm sure that I and Miss Brahams would be delighted to try out for a bathing beauty and I am unanimous in that. However, didn't Young Mr. Grace say he didn't want members of the department posing?

Oh Captain Peacock maybe you can tell Mr. Rumbold that professional models will probably cost Young Mr. Grace more than he is willing to spend on advertising. We could hold another beauty contest here in the store to choose who poses with what display picture.

Posted: 4:07 PM - May 24, 2011
Charlie
What a good idea Mrs. Slocumbe. Mr. Humphries dial Mr. Rumbold for me would you?

Mr. Rumbold Mrs. Slocumbe just had an idea to deter Young Mr. Grace from looking outside the store for the bathing beauties. The cost of professional models will probably be more than he is willing to spend for advertising. Why couldn't we hold a beauty contest here in the store again with any member of department wishing to compete. He could be the final judge. Instead of winning a vacation on his yacht, the prize is posing for the sales display pictures. You know we're still waiting for word back on Mr. Humphries' director friend for the photographic work. I don't believe that Mrs. Grainger will be willing to do the pictures considering the subject matter as it were. You'll tell him this at the coffee break? Excellent sir.

Thank you Mr. Humphries! You all heard the outcome now back to your counters. We'll find out what Young Mr. Grace decides after the coffee break.

Posted: 9:11 PM - May 24, 2011
RideUpWithWear
Unfortunately, you are right Captain Peacock ... I expect that my wife would refuse to work with such women that young Mr. Grace finds desirable work ...

Hopefully, Mr. Rumbold can help persuade Young Mr. Grace to change his mind about spending money on "professional models."

Posted: 9:54 PM - May 24, 2011
Charlie
Yes well Mr. Grainger I'm afraid that my wife wouldn't be too pleased to find out that there will be professional models in the near vicinity to me either. I do not fancy spending another week in the guestroom or almost being chucked out. We've tried to put all that unpleasantness behind us. I really don't want to upset her again. Besides, tho I find the younger ladies attractive to look at, I do not have the stamina to keep up with them any longer.

Posted: 3:36 PM - May 25, 2011
Libby_W
teethygrin whoa, a beauty contest, here, at Grace Brothers! That would be a sight to see! With some of these birds that work here, it would be a tight race to the crown...

with Mrs. Slocumbe in the race, it'll be even tighter..lol.

Posted: 3:53 PM - May 25, 2011
sueschmitt
Mr. Lucas I shall bat your ears if you keep this up!

May I remind you that it wasn't a lady that won the contest the last time but Mr. Humphries who gallantly offered himself to help his department out. Mind you I don't think we can convince him to do that again for the honor of the department. I don't think he's ever really recovered from his time on Young Mr. Grace's yacht. We still don't know if he is or isn't either. Mrs. Slocumbe spies a customer coming to the ladies counter.

Good morning madam. Not a very nice day is it madam. You must have needed something badly to have come out in this weather. You need some tights, bras and knickers you say? What size is madam? Mrs. Slocumbe gives the customer a professional look up and down. You look like you're about a 38D, size 8 for the knickers and a tall for the tights? The customer is amazed at Mrs. Slocumbe's sizing acumen. Thank you madam! One acquired the knack when one has been doing this as long as what I have. Miss Brahams get down the 38 platforms with the heavy duty straps would you? Now then while she's getting those, here is the tights drawer. I'll get the knickers drawer out while you look thru those. Might I interest madam in a new line of intimate apparel that we're offering on special? We have the frilly bra, matching suspender belt and knickers along with a matching nighty for 20 quid. What colors you ask? We have them in red, black and emerald green. The customer shyly tells Mrs. Slocumbe that she's going away for the upcoming weekend with her boyfriend.

Mrs. Slocumbe: Going away are we, well madam must look her best then musn't she Miss Brahams?

Miss Brahams: Oh yes she must get at least one set of the fancy wear.

Mrs. Slocumbe: Miss Brahams would you get that drawer of the special apparel for me?

Mrs. Slocumbe: Now if madam would look thru these things and see if there isn't something that suits her?

The customer selects two bras, several pairs of knickers and tights and a red and black set of the intimate apparel. Mrs. Slocumbe totals it up for her. That will be 70 quid cash or account? On account? Fine, sign here please. Miss Brahams is bagging the items up for her. There you go madam your receipt is in the bag. If I were you, I would take shallow breaths with the new bras until you've broken them in a bit. The catches have a tendency to fly open. If you are unhappy with anything madam, don't hesitate to bring it back as long as you have the receipt.

Miss Brahams mutters "you won't get it but you can ask".

There Miss Brahams that's 70 quick with my 3 percent commission that comes to a little over two quid for me. Since you helped me Miss Brahams, I'll split this with you. You haven't gotten much commission this week have you. Mind you the weather has been awful lately. I'm sure it will pick up for you once the sun comes out again.

Posted: 2:48 PM - May 26, 2011
Madman42q
Oh, thank you, Mrs Slocombe. I could use a bit of extra bob. I've had to buy the cheap tights we sell here and they ladder so easily. I mean, I just bought these yesterday and look!

*lifts her skirt to reveal a ladder running from her ankle all the way to her suspender belt*

*Captain Peacock's attention is quickly diverted from the dummy he's been re-posing and accidentally snaps its arm off*

Humphries: (from the mens counter, watching everything and grinning) Good thing he wasn't changing out the trousers!

Brahms: 'Ere, speaking of extra bob, d'you think they'll try that same shenanigan they pulled last time when they had that beauty contest? 'Cause I'm not participating if the big prize is Mr Grace's big boat!

Posted: 3:18 PM - May 26, 2011
Libby_W
<eyes open wide!> Did you see that, Mr. Humphries!! Ms. Brahms has a ladder all the way!


Mr. Humphries: Glass of water for Mr. Lucas.

Posted: 11:23 PM - May 26, 2011
Madman42q
Cheeky monkey!

Posted: 2:07 AM - May 27, 2011
RideUpWithWear
Grainger finishes the sale with a customer.

Grainger: Enjoy wearing your check suit, sir. Have a good morning.

The customer leaves. Grainger notices Lucas's and Peacock's behaviour, yet he doesn't see what they were reacting to ...

Miss Brahms had already pulled down her skirt. Lucas gulps a glass of water ...

Peacock becomes embarrased at having ruined the display and overcompensates by pacing the floor. Then he straightens his carnation ...

Grainger wonders if he should replace the mannequin ... he realizes that it could antagonize Peacock more if he went to the centre display without engaging in oral protocol. However, if Grainger merely mentioned this incident to Peacock in passing, the minor scandal would deeply hurt Peacock's feelings. So, Grainger said nothing and tried to pretend that nothing unusual happened.

Humphries nudged Grainger.

Humphries: (whispers) Mr. Grainger ... should we do something about the centre display?
Grainger: (looks around to see if anyone is watching them) I should think so, ...

Then the gents departmental phone rings ...

Lucas answers the phone.

Lucas: (on the phone) Menswear.

It was Rumbold.

Rumbold: (on the phone) Hello. Is this Mr. Lucas? Please tell Peacock and the others that I have been instructed that Young Mr. Grace is prepared to make an announcement regarding the advertising campaign.
Lucas: Ahhh, yes, the bathing beauties. Did he say that he wants to recruit the models himself ... such as organize a talent competition ...
Rumbold: Umm, no. Well he did not give details to me over the phone. He said that he would meet us all in the canteen during the next break.
Lucas: (disappointed) Well, I will pass on this message.
Rumbold: Well you should get back to serving your customers. Tell Captain Peacock to phone me in five minutes if he has any questions.
Lucas: Oh I will, Mr. Rumbold. Good bye.

Lucas hangs up the telephone.

Lucas: Captain Peacock, are you free?

Peacock looks around customarily to see if there were unattended customers exiting the lifts.

Peacock: I am free Mr. Lucas.
Lucas: That was Rumbold on the phone. He has a message from Young Mr. Grace.

Posted: 10:30 AM - May 27, 2011
Charlie
Yes Mr. Lucas I'm free. I heard Mr. Rumbold thru the phone. He does talk rather loudly you know. I wonder what nonsense that silly man will come up with for this latest advertising campaign. I suppose we should be grateful that we at least put him off the idea of another disastrous commercial.

Would you please call Mr. Rumbold back for me. He should be free by now to tell me what the latest disaster is going to be.

Mr. Grainger would you be good enough to repair that dummy on the center display for me while I'm speaking with Mr. Rumbold. I'm afraid I have mangled it and it wouldn't do for Young Mr. Grace to come on the floor and see the dummy

Hello Mr. Rumbold Mr. Lucas said you have some news for us about the latest advertising campaign. You want to tell us in the canteen at lunch? Very well I'll pass that message to the staff.

Posted: 3:15 PM - May 27, 2011
Libby_W
<standing over next to the center display holding items as Mr. Grainger and Humphries re-arrange the dummy>

Boy, I tell ya, ol' jugears is rather boiled today.

Must be upset that the beauty contest is a no go...<giggles>

Mind you, as jealous as his wife is, it wouldn't do him good to be any part of a beauty pagent, NOR Captain Peacock, since Peacock's marriage is rocky already.

Posted: 4:56 PM - May 27, 2011
Charlie
Well we don't know that Mr. Grace panned the beauty contest Mr. Lucas.

You're quite right about my marriage. Mind you its gotten much better since we've worked most difficulties out. Ahh to be your age again free to be on the prowl for adventure. Don't get yourself tied down until you've sown lots of wild oats.

Posted: 8:53 PM - May 27, 2011
Madman42q
*Brahms giggles behind her hand, but is a bit sympathetic towards the gents*

Oi, did you hear that, Mrs Slocombe? The Bathing Beauties contest might be a no-go. Too bad we can't get the men to take part in such a contest. Not that I'd want to see any of 'em in swimming shorts. Can you imagine skinny ol' Peacock in a speedo? UGH! But it'd be nice if they got a taste of their own sexist ways.

Posted: 11:23 PM - May 27, 2011
sueschmitt
Weak as water the whole lot of them, weak as water! They wouldn't have the nerve to compete in a male beauty contest. Men can be such beasts.

Mind you tho there are those male go-go dancers that have become quite popular in the States. What is their name? Mrs. Axleby was reading an article about them in a supermarket rag the other day. Oh yes the Chippendales. At first I thought she was talking about those little animated chipmunks what was on the cartoons on Saturday morning for awhile. I coulldn't see why she was getting so worked up over cartoon animals then she showed me a picture of them with women going wild over them and stuffing money down their jockey shorts! I don't think something like that would go over very well here do you Miss Brahams? We British are more reserved although, if they looked like Steve McQueen I wouldn't mind having a go at him.

Mrs. Slocumbe gets a thoughtful look on her face. You know Miss Brahams, it might not be a bad idea to suggest to Mr. Rumbold that a male beauty contest be held instead of a female. Or maybe they could use both depending on the department?

Posted: 9:16 AM - May 28, 2011
GBOwner
This session is closed. Well done!