Posted: 2:38 AM - Mar 25, 2012
Claybourne
It's the middle of summer in London and the air conditioning has gone out at Grace Brothers' Department Store; to make matters worse, Maintenance has gone on strike and refuse to repair the unit

We find the first floor staff coping as best they can under the circumstances

Lucas: (thumbing through an old National Geographic magazine) Did you know that hundreds of years ago, before our ancestors settled here, London was nothing but a humid, festering swamp?

Humphries: Not much has changed, has it? (fans himself with another magazine) I do wish they'd hire someone to repair the air conditioning. You know, the lilies in my back garden are wilting during the day. If they don't do something about the heat here I might start wilting as well. All of a sudden I'll just go limp and fall to the floor!

Lucas: Your whole body or just your wrist?

Humphries: I'll smack yours in a moment.

Posted: 6:35 PM - Mar 26, 2012
Libby_W
<laughes as he fans faster> good golly, this heat wave is gonna kill me...<gasp> it's already killed me mommas roses in her garden. She's so upset. She loves her garden ya 'no.

I wish this place would supply us with those industrial fans during working hours. 'emember when we used them during the photo shoots a few months ago?

I could go for a tall glass of ice cold beer right now...<sighes>

Posted: 7:51 PM - Mar 26, 2012
Claybourne
I don't have any beer, but...

Humphries gestures with his head for Lucas to follow him; he leads the junior assistant to a mannequin

Reach into his y-fronts

Lucas has his shocKed face

Oh, fine, I'll do it first.

Humphries reaches in and extracts a straw from the dummy's briefs

I've hidden a cold can of Vimto in there. As long as Grainger and Peacock don't go grappling with it, we should be safe. Go on! Have a sip.

Lucas stares at him

Oh come on! I've been doing it all day. Just watch.

Humphries looks left and right, then bends over and slurps some of the hidden blackcurrant pop

Posted: 6:38 PM - Mar 27, 2012
Libby_W
I'm not doing that!! < Lucas exclaims as he watches Humphries slurp from the dummies brief>

Looks like you're...you 'now...<puffs his cheeks out>

Now, if we had some female dummies over here, and their bras and panties were filled with soda pop, THEN, I would take a few sips..<giggles>

Posted: 1:06 AM - Mar 28, 2012
Claybourne
Fine! Have it your way.

He drinks a bit more from the mannequin

Oh! That is lovely. So cold and refreshing.

He walks away

Posted: 4:23 PM - Mar 28, 2012
Libby_W
<watches Humphries walk away with a satisfied look on his face. Wonders wither the look was the refreshing drink or how he got his drink...

then glances over to the ladies counter to see how the ladies were coping with the heat...

Shirley was fanning herself with a portable handheld fan that she brought in from home and Mrs. Slocumbe was slipping little nips of brandy being hid under a hat being displayed>

Blimey! < he gasped as he fanned himself continually until his wrist started hurting> I can't take this anymore!

Captain Peacock!!! May I go and get a glass of ice!!!

Posted: 12:34 AM - Mar 29, 2012
Stephen Peacock
No, you may not, Mr Lucas.

I realise that it must be very difficult for you to be able to withstand this sudden heat wave. I'm rather lucky for spending all those months in the desert. They taught us a trick, a mental sleight of hand, if you will. You must imagine yourself in a freezing cold place, such as the Arctic or the Himalayas or...

Humphries whispers to Lucas, 'Or in bed with Mrs Peacock...'

...perhaps an ice skating rink. Within seconds you will begin to feel cooler. I've used it many times myself and it works perfectly. I don't even break a sweat these days. You should try it, Mr Lucas.

With that, Peacock walks away; Humphries and Lucas begin snickering when they see a large patch of dampness on the back of Peacock's jacket

Posted: 9:08 AM - Mar 29, 2012
Libby_W
<snickering while Peacock walks away, looks down and notices that he is wearing cut offs! >

Blimey!! It must be nice to be superior management!

Posted: 7:08 PM - Mar 29, 2012
Claybourne
I've seen nicer legs in a bucket of fried chicken.

Let me ring my friend in the Canteen and see if we can work something out.

Humphries dials the Canteen...

Hello Rowan! It's Claybourne. ... What do you mean, you knew the moment I opened my mouth? ... When I open my mouth, forty yards of purple chiffon do NOT fly out. ... No, Love, I haven't got your hand grips. You loaned those to Nathan last week when he was complaining about his skinny forearms. ... (chuckles) Yes, you do have a very strong grip. ... (chuckles again) Anyway, I was calling because I was wondering if you could help us out. It's absolutely boiling here on the first floor and I... Yes. Well, are there any frozen beverages or novelties avai- ... Oh. Yes, well, I understand. Right. That's all right, dear. Are we still on for tea tonight? ... Lovely! See you at eight! Bye!

Humphries puts the phone back

No joy, Chuck. She said it was sneaking ice lollies to the other staff was what got her suspended from Accounts and put in the Canteen for a week. She did say she'd tuck away a few Choco-Tacos for us for when we go to lunch.

Posted: 8:03 PM - Mar 30, 2012
Libby_W
Gah, Blimey...now what'll we do? This heat is killin' me!

<gasps as he undoes his tie and unbottons his top two buttons, exposing his tee>

I wonder if Ol' Jugears would let us dress down this week. Ya 'no, lighter materials, work clothes for summertime...

We've gotta have attire for that! And with us wearing that, we'd sell it and make tons of commission!

Posted: 10:39 PM - Mar 30, 2012
Claybourne
Ol' Jug Ears couldn't give a dingo's kidney if we're boiling out here. He's probably rigged a unit to his window so he can stay cool. Now use your loaf! How can we stay cool without management finding out what we're up to?

Posted: 11:54 AM - Apr 01, 2012
Libby_W
<Stood there with his one arm across his chest, the other arm rested atop that arm, that hand cupped on his chin, his finger running back on forth his lower lip>

Blimey, this has me stumped. The only thing that pops into me mind is runnin' up to hardware and seein' if they will loan us some little fans to run along the counter or floors...

<snaps finger> or fill those sandwich bag thingys with ice! Yah! Fill them babys up with ice and hide 'em in our pockets!