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I'm posting a script I began working on for a potential Season 3 Episode 1 of Grace and Favour. Anyone ideas or suggestions are welcome.
SCENE 1
(Mr. Rumbold comes downstairs to the breakfast table - Mavis has a couple of sacks that she places on the table)
Mr. Rumbold: Good morning, Mavis. What have you got there?
Mavis: Morning Mr. Rumbold. These are the potatoes you all planted in the fields, they're just coming ripe now. I thought I'd cook some up for breakfast.
Mr. Rumbold: Ohhh, Yes, that sounds very satisfactory.
(Mr. Rumbold sits down with his newspaper)
Mavis: I'll need Mr. Humphries to give me a hand, I'll just go 'rouse him.
(Mavis heads upstairs, passing Mrs. Slocombe heading down)
Mrs. Slocombe: Good morning, Mr. Rumbold. Your up early.
Mr. Rumbold: Yes, there was quite a bit of "meowing" coming from down the hall....I wonder what that could have been.
Mrs. Slocombe: Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Rumbold. My pussy had to stay in last night and was anxious to get out this morning.
Mr. Rumbold: I see........
(Mrs. Slocombe grabs the milk container and pours it in her coffee cup)
Mrs. Slocombe: Anything interesting in the paper?
Mr. Rumbold: Well, it appears that our "royal" performance for the Mongolians made it into the local news. It says here, "The first class performance by Miss Lovelock and 'Sergei Humphries' thrilled the guests at Millstone manner, so much so that a noted ballet theater in London may soon be contacting them and asking them to tour."
Mrs. Slocombe: Well! Go to the foot of our stairs....
(Captain Peacock comes down the stairs)
Mrs. Slocombe: Did you hear that, Captain Peacock?
Captain Peacock: Hear what?
Mrs. Slocombe: Miss Lovelock and Mr. Humphries might be going on tour.......
Captain Peacock: Oh yes, I read that.....well I suppose our performance was a bit to "classical" for them, otherwise I'm sure they'd be contacting us as well.
(Mr. Rumbold gives an 'unimpressed' look to Captain Peacock)
Mr. Rumbold: Yes......well, this could very well help us with our current situation. We've had a bit of a dry-spell with guests coming to the hotel, and Mr. Thorpe is looking for new ways to advertise Millstone Manner. Perhaps our two "stars" could tour and represent our hotel as they perform.
Captain Peacock (chuckling): Well sir.....our "stars" are not exactly professionals..... How do you know they'll manage?
Mr. Rumbold: Well, we'll discuss it with them when they come down.
(Meowing is heard from upstairs)
Mrs. Slocombe: Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Rumbold, but I must go and attend to my Tiddles upstairs.
(Music plays and the scene fades out as Captain Peacock puts his head in his hands)
(End of Scene 1)
SCENE 2
(Mavis comes into the bedroom and discovers Mr. Humphries still fast asleep)
(Humphries is talking to himself…)
Mr. Humphries: No mother, I didn’t buy all of those wibbly wobblies…..they’re for work…..
(Mavis smiles, looking on)
Mr. Humphries: Well, I promise I’ll bring them back tomorrow………
(Mavis lightly shakes Mr. Humprhies)
Mavis: Wake up, Mr. Humprhies, it’s morning time!
Mr. Humphries: Oh dear, Mavis. What time is it?
Mavis: 8:30…now hurry on up, I need you to help me with my spuds.
Mr. Humphries: Your what?
Mavis: My spuds! I collected them all this morning and brought them in….now they just need a good washing.
Mr. Humprhies: Oh, don’t we all.
Mavis: And I didn't want to 'rouse you early after all that twistin' and turnin' you did last night.
Mr. Humphries: Oh, well, let's keep that to ourselves Mavis.
Mavis: It's fine, I'm used to sleepin' through all sorts of strange movements in the bed.
Mr. Humphries: I see.....Well, Mavis, I’ll be down in a bit to give you a hand.
Mavis: Alright, but hurry up, my spuds’ll be waitin’.
(Mavis leaves, Mr. Humphries pulls out Paddington bear from under the covers)
Mr. Humprhies: Between you and me, I think I’ll stick to me wibbly wobblies.
(End of Scene 2)
SCENE 3
(Mr. Rumbold, Captain Peacock, Mrs. Slocombe and Miss Brahms are now sitting in the living room, now dressed for the day and reading letters/newspapers)
(Miss Lovelock comes in after taking her horse out for another round of morning exercise)
Captain Peacock: Ahh, Miss Lovelock. I'm sorry I missed our morning work out. Was it a good ride?
Miss Lovelock: Oh, excellent Captain Peacock. Sir Robert gave me quite the surprise when he decided to gallop the last half mile.
Miss Brahms: Perhaps he couldn't wait to get home.....
(Miss Lovelock frowns, walks over to the small bar to fix a drink)
Mr. Rumbold: Miss Lovelock. We do need to discuss the news regarding your ballet performance with Mr. Humphries.
Miss Lovelock: Oh yes, I read about that. It's not the first time I've made the local papers.
Miss Brahms: Nothing illegal, I hope?
Miss Lovelock: Oh darling, perhaps you'll make it one of these days in the reminiscent section of the paper.
Miss Brahms: I'll have you know I won the pageant contest four years in a row and it was in every paper!!
Miss Lovelock: Yes, I'm sure there's still a record of it in some dusty corner of the local museum.
(Mr. Rumbold scoffs): Getting back to the point. Miss Lovelock, do you think you would be able to go on tour and perform on behalf of Millstone?
Miss Lovelock: Well, I did quite a lot of ballet when I was repertory school - I'd be happy to give it a try and audition.
Mr. Rumbold: Very well, that's settled. That just leaves Mr. Humphries. Uh, where is he now?
Mrs. Slocombe: The last I saw him he was heading out with Mavis to trim the hedge maze.
(Mr. Moulterd walks in from the front door)
Mr. Moulterd: Sorry to barge in while you....
Mrs. Slocombe: Mr. Moultern, would you PLEASE not refer to us as having our "snouts in the trough" anymore?
Captain Peacock: I second that.
Mr. Moulterd: Oh sorry, how about "noses in the feedin' tray?"
(Mrs. Slocombe cringes)
Mr. Moulterd: Anyhow, I just got finished tendin' to the cowshed and found that old Betsy had gotten out and was wanderin' about. She's a good 'ol cow, she's even won the local contest and got her picture taken.
Miss Lovelock: Why there's a pageant that may suite the aged.....
Miss Brahms: Why you little......
Mr. Moulterd: Mrs. Slocombe won a couple pageants herself!! I remember seein' her back then, quite the figure as always. I had her picture on my wall!
Mrs. Slocombe: Please Mr. Moultern! Not here....
Captain Peacock: Mr. Moultern, did you see Mr. Humphries?
Mr. Moulterd: Oh yeah, he's wanderin' about with Mavis in the hedges.
Miss Brahms: What does that mean?
Mr. Moulterd: I dunno, but that's what we used to call it.
Mrs. Slocombe: Call what?
Mr. Moulterd: That's where we used to take 'em on a first date!
(Everyone at the table looks at each other)
(Music plays and as the scene fades out)
(End of scene 3)
Cool script! 🙂 Updated Moulterd's name.
There are actual three things that need to be fixed. Unfortunately, the "edit" function is either disabled or disappears after a period of time. If it's possible for you to change this, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks
SCENE 4
(Mavis and Mr. Humphries are walking along a path in the hedges - Mr. Humphries is holding onto the handles of a hand cart full of gardening tools that he's pulling along)
Mr. Humphries: Mavis, are you sure you saw it down here? Me arms are about spent.
Mavis: Oh, sorry Mr. Humphries. Do you want to switch off now?
Mr. Humphries: Yes, that might be a good idea. Maybe we should both take a break.
(Mr. Humphries lets go of the handles as he lets the cart down)
Mavis: Yes, just around that corner's where it was.
Mr. Humphries: Oh, thank goodness. For a bit there I thought we'd gone off the trail.
Mavis: No, I know these hedges like the back of me hand. I spent many days runnin' round in here, explorin' every nook and cranny. Didn't you have anywhere you ran 'round when you were a lad?
Mr. Humphries: Well yes, but it was in the suburbs. I always got in trouble for going in the wrong flat....but I met a lot of interesting friends that way.
Mavis: Well that don't surprise me, knowin' how nice you are.
Mr. Humphries: Well Mavis, what are we looking for again?
Mavis: I'll tell you, but first you have to let me give you another kiss!
Mr. Humphries: Okay, but hurry up before me legs give out.
Mavis: Ready?
Mr. Humphries: Yes!
(Mr. Humphries closes his eyes and Mavis kisses his cheek)
(Suddenly they hear galloping coming up from behind them, just out of view)
Mr. Humphries: Oh no, me mother!
Mavis: I wonder who that is?
(A horse comes around the corner of the hedge maze with Miss Lovelock riding)
Miss Lovelock: Oh there you two are. Mr. Rumbold was looking for you.
(The horse whinnies)
Mr. Humphries: Really, what for?
Miss Lovelock: Apparently our duet was a huge success, and so we're going to audition for the professional ballet.
Mavis: Oh, how exciting Mr. Humphries!
Mr. Humphries: Yes, fame at last. Well, at least a different kind of fame.
Miss Lovelock: Well, we can start rehearsals this weekend. I'll come and get you in the morning. G'up!
(Miss Lovelock rides off the other way)
Mr. Humphries: Now Mavis, what did we come down here for?
Mavis: There's a lovely flower growing down here at the bottom of the hedges - We can bring it back and put it in the vase in our room.
Mr. Humphries: Alright Mavis, let's finish this up quick and head back to the house. I won't be up for this weekend if me legs are worn out.
(Mavis picks the hand cart up and they both continue walking along the path)
(End of Scene 4)
